


In Tequila Veritas

by RubydeBrazier



Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, M/M, Oral Sex, Tequila
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-04
Updated: 2012-10-04
Packaged: 2017-11-15 14:35:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/528342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubydeBrazier/pseuds/RubydeBrazier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony: "you gotta get him to tell you about the time he guessed wrong at spring break. Just remember that, spring break, 1987. That lovely lady you woke up with."<br/>Rhodey: "Don't do that!"<br/>Tony: "What was his name?"<br/>Rhodey: "Don't do that."<br/>Tony: "Was it lvan?"<br/>Rhodey: "Don't do that. They'll believe it. Don't do that."<br/>Tony: "Okay."<br/>Rhodey: "Don't do that."</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Tequila Veritas

**Author's Note:**

> Tony Stark and all other characters in this story are not my property. I do not profit from this in any way and my only intention is praise and/or parody of the original work.

In Tequila Veritas

The messed up thing was Rhodey had no idea how Tony even knew. It had been Rhodey's idea to go to Spring Break in the first place, and it had been Rhodey's idea to drink tequila. 

They were sitting in a bar, a dive Rhodey had been to with several Army buddies the previous year, before he had become an officer, with graffiti on the walls and loud pop music playing. The place was totally full of college students on break who were getting rowdy at tables. Tony and Rhodey were on two stools at the end of the bar. 

"Don't you even think," Rhodey said, putting his frozen margarita down on the bar to gesticulate more emphatically, "that he should be brought for court martial?"

"No I don't fuckin' think he should be court martialed," Tony insisted, rattling the ice in his own margarita. This was the kind of place where it had to be explained to the bartender how to make a margarita which was not frozen, and it had taken him four tries to get it the way Tony liked it. Of course by then he had drunk four of them. "So what if he fucked her?" Tony said, "I don't see what the big fuckin' deal is!"

"The big deal, my private sector friend, the big deal is that it's against Army policy and with good reason. Sergeants cannot fraternize with privates. We have to maintain discipline, man!"

"They'd have a hard time fraternizing without privates," said Tony, giggling. 

"This is serious, man," said Rhodey. Tony's face tried its best to become serious. "It's not like you, you can sleep with a hundred girls a week and nobody cares..."

Tony became deeply interested in folding his napkin. Rhodey didn't finish the rest of the sentence "...but never the same girl twice." They had talked about it once, and had come to an understanding. The understanding was that Tony didn't want to talk about it. 

Tony passed his napkin to Rhodey, folded into an origami bunny rabbit. 

"It's different, you can't be in the service if you can't keep it in your pants," Rhodey continued. "You can be dishonorably discharged for that type of thing!" Rhodey said the words "dishonorably discharged" like some other people might say "taken out back and shot". 

"Is that why you're such a goddamn saint, Rhodey? You think you might get fired for holding hands with somebody?"

Rhodey leaned his elbows on the bar, put his head in his hands and shook it gently from side to side. He looked up at the ceiling and then down at his margarita. It was nearly empty. 

He just had to take Tony to Spring Break. Even though they were both a year or two too old for college, when Rhodey found out that Tony had never been he had insisted that they go. He told Tony that it was relaxing, that it was a right of passage, that it was fun to be just a regular guy. He had been thinking of the times he had come here with his buddies, all packed into one hotel room that they barely even saw, drunk for a week, singing Army songs. He should have known better. Tony was not now, nor had he ever been, a regular guy. 

"Oscar Wilde once said," Tony slid his empty glass away with one finger, "that a man can resist anything as long as it isn't a temptation."

"That's not the quote, man, and Pepper told you that. You did not know that."

"Doesn't matter! And that's not even my point! You want to know what I think?"

Rhodey looked up nervously. Tony said absolutely nothing. 

"Sure, yeah," said Rhodey finally, "I want to know what you think," but Tony still said nothing.

"Look, man, we've known each other a long time. You can tell me what you think. You can tell me anything."

"I think," said Tony seriously and sagely, "that we should do shots."

#

It had not been Rhodey's idea to befriend Tony, but once he had met him Tony just would not go away. 

They had met in the arcade next to the movie theater where Rhodey had spent every Saturday of his adolescent life. Tony had not been there any of the previous times, but he was there that day because the theater had not been playing Star Wars. Tony wanted to see Star Wars and when he found out that after months of playing there it had finally been replaced he went to the arcade. 

Rhodey had seen Tony standing at a pinball game with one foot raised up underneath the bottom of the game. Tony was not tall as a kid and he had to scoot almost entirely under the edge of the machine to hold his foot like that. Rhodey went up to him. At that time Rhodey was about a foot taller than Tony. 

"Hey, man, what are you doing?" Rhodey asked.

"Magnets!" said Tony excitedly. "In my shoes dude and if I hold it just right I think I might be able to control the ball just enough to not lose the ball if I can get a centimeter or like half a centimeter on the right or the left and I can play with the same ball forever I can just never stop play to put in quarters, like, EVER, dude!" 

There was a stack next to the machine, but it wasn't quarters. It was rolls of quarters. 

"Maybe you need to put the magnet closer," said Rhodey. He got a phone book from the booth in the corner and put it next to Tony's foot on the floor and Tony stood on it. Tony looked up. 

"I'm Tony," he said, hands still working the pinball levers. 

"Rhodey," he replied and from then on they were inseparable. 

Sometimes people couldn't figure it out. Especially when Rhodey had been a jock, still in Junior High and Tony had already been taking classes at MIT. Tony came over a lot, though, and he got along well with Rhodey's family. Rhodey's mom used to say it was charitable of Rhodey to be friends with Tony so that Tony could see what a real family was like, but it wasn't charity. Rhodey's life was just much more interesting with Tony in it than without Tony in it. 

Certainly Rhodey did feel sorry for Tony sometimes, though, even with the nice cars and the money. He used to say goodbye to Tony at the arcade and ride his bike home, knowing Tony could be waiting there until hours after dark for that guy who took care of him since his dad died to remember to come pick him up. The company was always more important. 

What most people didn't know was that Tony, despite the fact that he also generally pretended the company was more important, didn't really think so. When Rhodey's father died Tony had flown down with him for the funeral even though he had to cancel a week's worth of appointments to do so. Whatever Rhodey needed, that was what Tony was going to do, and that was why they were still friends even though Tony stood him up sometimes and seemed selfish to people who didn't really know him. 

Whatever Tony wanted, that was what Rhodey was going to try to do, because Rhodey was going to try to be as good a friend to Tony as Tony was for him.

#

Tony wanted to do shots, and somehow even though it was a bad idea Rhodey had agreed. Naturally Tony thought it was a great idea, because it was his. All you had to do to get Tony to do something was to convince him it was all his idea, and then there was no stopping him. 

They drank a lot of tequila, and they stumbled out of the bar and back to the hotel. It was a huge room with two double beds and a balcony with a view of the ocean. It was filled with booze, and so they drank more tequila and lay fully clothed on one of the beds sideways. It was dark in the hotel room except for the neon sign of a nearby club, not visible enough to read but casting alternating blue shadows across the room at predictable intervals. Outside the ocean was dotted with the lights of ships reflected in the water. Tony kicked off his shoes. 

Tony still hadn't told him what he thought, and it was starting to bother Rhodey. Since when did Tony not tell him things? Tony said every thought he ever had out loud. That was what made some people think he had an accent, it wasn't a real accent it was just that sometimes his mouth couldn't keep up with his brain. 

"Dude, how long have we known each other for?" asked Rhodey. 

"No, I say dude," said Tony.

"What?"

"I say dude. You say man. Say man."

"I'm trying to say something important here."

"Okay, man," said Tony, and he started giggling again. 

"I'm trying to say that you can tell me, you can tell me what you think. You know that right?"

"Yes I know that."

"So tell me what you think," Rhodey insisted.

Tony took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I think the reason you aren't having as difficult of a time keeping it in your pants, as you say, is that you have not had the opportunity to give in to temptation."

"I've had plenty of..." Rhodey began. He was used to this speech. It was necessary to be able to reassure people that you weren't a virgin, even if you were. Rhodey was and Tony probably knew that since they hadn't talked about it, but he didn't want Tony to try to get him laid with one of his cast-off girls. 

Tony interrupted him. "I think you're gay," he said.

"WHAT?" Rhodey sounded shocked, but actually this was another speech he was used to. He knew every word of it by heart. He would talk all about how unattractive other guys were for a while and then change the subject. He had it down to an art. Only he never got to say a word of it, because Tony had turned to him and was kissing him on the mouth. 

Before Rhodey could stop himself he was kissing back. It was like something had happened in his brain to disconnect it from his body and he was kissing on autopilot. Rhodey had barely time to register the taste of the tequila on Tony's mouth before Tony was on top of him and he was pulling Tony's shirt off. 

Tony had a boxer's body, compact and heavy, each muscle clearly defined despite Tony's continuous diet of booze and espresso. It felt right. Even the soft stubble on Tony's cheeks as they kissed felt right. The arc reactor cast a pale glow over Tony's upper torso and face but the rest of the room was in darkness. Rhodey opened his mouth to tell Tony to stop but then Tony's tongue was in his mouth and he couldn't speak because if he did Tony might stop and Rhodey couldn't remember why he thought making Tony stop was a good idea. Tony put his hands under Rhodey's shirt and Rhodey was glad he worked out so much and didn't usually drink, glad he had kept his soldier's body when he became an officer so he didn't feel insecure next to Tony who could have anyone he wanted and usually did. 

Rhodey expected Tony to run his hands up Rhodey's chest and down his back like Rhodey had just done but Tony's hands didn't go up. They went down. They went under the waistband of Rhodey's briefs and even if he hadn't been hard before he was now. Tony took his cock in one hand lightly and ran his fingers up the shaft. He took his mouth away from Rhodey's as he did and Rhodey could have said something then but he couldn't breathe.

Tony was on straddling his legs, pinning him to the mattress, sliding down over his body while moving his hand over Rhodey's cock. Rhodey looked at the ceiling, trying to slow his breathing, telling himself he wasn't going to come. The neon light reflecting off the ceiling lit up the curves of Tony's muscles and shone around the edges of the arc reactor where skin met chrome. 

Even with the way Tony had moved down the bed Rhodey still didn't see what Tony was about to do until he felt Tony's mouth around the tip of his cock. That was something he could barely believe. He put his hand on the back of Tony's head and it still wasn't real. Rhodey looked down. Those were Tony's shoulders, Tony's arms, the deep indentation of Tony's spine and it still wasn't real. 

There was a bottle of suntan oil at the foot of the bed. Rhodey could smell the coconut scent as Tony poured it over both hands and rubbed it onto Rhodey, both his balls first then in the crack of his ass. It was a single motion which brought one of Tony's fingers into Rhodey's ass where it stayed while Tony's mouth began to move faster. 

It was nothing at all like doing it to himself. The combination of the two sensations was too much for Rhodey and he was coming. He felt his hips move once but that was enough for Tony to anticipate and pull away, pushing Rhodey's cock up so that he came all over his own shirt. 

Rhodey fell back, gasping. Tony pulled off Rhodey's shirt and threw it on the floor. He put his hands on Rhodey's hips, pulled him down until they were pressed together chest to chest. Rhodey felt the tip of Tony's cock, slick with oil, against his ass and took a deep breath. Tony's mouth was on his again and he could taste himself. 

"Take a deep breath," Tony said, so Rhodey took another one and then Tony was inside him. He went all the way in with one thrust and then held still, waiting for Rhodey to make a move. It was real then. Rhodey couldn't tell if he was drunk or sober. He put his arms around Tony and kissed. Tony kissed back but still didn't move. 

Rhodey moved then, slowly, and Tony let out a breath Rhodey hadn't realized he had been holding. They were moving together and Rhodey couldn't think about this. His brain responded the way it did at the start of combat, telling him to react first and think later. In this case it was for pleasure not fear, but it worked. He put his legs around Tony's hips and felt a jolt of combined pleasure and pain as Tony began to thrust not holding back.

It didn't take long for Tony for come too and that was a new sensation, the warmth, the feeling of emptiness after Tony pulled out. It felt good. Rhodey expected that to be it, for Tony to turn over and go to sleep next to him. Instead he kissed Rhodey and climbed on top of him, straddling Rhodey again and pouring the rest of the suntan oil bottle out onto Rhodey's cock. Most of the oil was all over the sheets now and the room smelled so strongly of sweat, sex, artificial coconut scent and tequila that Rhodey could no longer smell the ocean. 

"Whoops," said Tony, and he threw the bottle at the trash can. Despite having drunk enough tequila to make most other men unconscious Tony's shot made it and the bottle rattled into the trash can. "Boo Yah!", said Tony. Rhodey couldn't tell, under the circumstances, if Tony was being ironic. He hoped Tony was being ironic.

Then Tony lowered his ass onto Rhodey's cock slowly, guiding him in with one hand and Rhodey heard a sharp intake of air which was one of them trying not to gasp but he couldn't tell which of them it was. He bent his knees to put his feet flat on the bed, took ahold of Tony's hips and thrust upwards. Tony moved to meet him, not seeming to feel any pain at all and Rhodey realized Tony had probably done this before. That was something he didn't have time to think about since they were moving together, Tony had his hands on either side of Rhodey's shoulders bracing himself and Rhodey's face was so close to the arc reactor he could have kissed it if he thought that was what Tony wanted. 

Instead he reached up and rubbed Tony's nipples while their hips came together and apart faster and Tony laughed. Rhodey knew that laugh. It was the one that said "I proved it. I was right." There was no meanness in the laugh, though, so Rhodey wasn't mad. Besides, Tony actually was right, he was coming again, struggling to thrust as deep as possible into Tony's body. 

When he fell back onto the sheets he was breathing pretty hard. Tony was still softly laughing. Tony kissed him one more time and got up, letting Rhodey lay there while he went to piss and clean himself up. When he came back into the room he went to the dresser and poured two large glasses of tequila. 

Rhodey took the drink and downed it. When he looked up again Tony had walked to the window and was standing at the balcony naked with a glass in one hand and the bottle in the other, backlit by neon. His back was to Rhodey and he was looking at the sea. He looked relaxed. Also, he had a great body. Think later, Rhodey remembered. Rhodey closed his eyes.

#

Rhodey woke up with his arms around Tony, in bed, and they were both naked. He leapt out of bed instantly. Tony opened his eyes and sat up, looking attractively rumpled half covered by sheets. He looked up at Rhodey with an expression of false innocence.

Rhodey pointed his finger at Tony accusingly. "We were drunk!" he exclaimed.

"Very drunk," Tony agreed, nodding. 

"We're absolutely not telling anybody about this?" Rhodey asked hopefully.

Tony continued to nod. He furrowed his brow in earnest conviction this time and from the neck up he looked like a CEO, the sort of man you would trust with your company's business. The view from the neck down made that a little harder to believe. 

"We will never drink tequila again, promise me!" Rhodey was nearly shaking with shock.

"I swear to you that we will never drink tequila again. We will drink whiskey and scotch and beer and many other things on many other occasions but never tequila. As long as we live," Tony said with sincerity in his voice. 

Rhodey nodded weakly and stumbled into the bathroom. He could faintly hear the sound of Tony opening the fridge to pour himself a drink and knew it was first thing in the morning but couldn't really say that he blamed him. 

He turned on the shower, but sat down on the closed lid of the toilet instead of getting in. He took a deep breath, and another. Oh God. It happened. It was real. 

How had Tony known? How long had Tony known? Could it be possible that Tony was gay too? Rhodey dismissed that idea. Tony was dysfunctional, sure, but he didn't think that Tony didn't at some point want the women he went to bed with. 

A strange idea came to him then, that this was Tony's way of giving Rhodey what he needed. That he knew there wasn't going to be any other way, so he set it up. All of it, the Spring Break, the vacation together, even the tequila. Tony thought it was a great idea because in fact it had been Tony's idea.

The messed up thing was that Rhodey would never know. He would never know how much of it Tony planned or why, but that was okay because so many things that were messed up before were fine now. 

First off, he wasn't a virgin. Also, Tony knew and they were still friends. Tony had given him exactly what he had needed, including a way of denying it and the knowledge that nothing further would ever be said or done about it. 

It was wonderful, was what it was. Rhodey could feel hot tears springing up along his lower lids. He didn't want to look like he had been crying, especially for happiness. 

Rhodey got into the shower and let the hot water run over his face. Not that much had changed. However, one thing was certain. He would remember this, every time he turned down a glass of tequila.


End file.
